Yo dont text me then not text me
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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