i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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