somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
