i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
