he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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