I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
