my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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