and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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