Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
