Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize