Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
