we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize