Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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