I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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