i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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