Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize