I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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