Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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