she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
