Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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