Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
