i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
