fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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