Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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