Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
