and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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