im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
