If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
