at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize