There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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