is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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