I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
