So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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