): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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