well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
