yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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