I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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