Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
