The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
