Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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