He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
