It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
