where am i from again
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
