I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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