If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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