I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
