I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
