you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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