ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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