The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
