I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
