they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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