Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
