Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
