hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
