I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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