Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
