what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
