so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
