so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
